After more starts, stops, and delays than I care to admit, I’d like to finally welcome you here, to my webpage’s raison d’être. My blog.
Mr. T took the liberty of inviting some of his best friends over for today’s launch party at the Homan Estate, and I’m glad you could come as well!
Before we can slice into the cake and kick off the festivities, though, let’s start this off right! Please rise for the singing of the national anthem by Grammy Award-winning recording artist and man-about-town Peabo Bryson.
Now that we’ve got that out of the way, let’s take our pants off and get comfortable. This is going to be one long, rambling post.
I should start by explaining, to those of you who don’t already know, who I am. My name is Jeremy Homan. I’m a thirty-something writer and lover of all things pop culture. When people hear the words “pop culture,” they immediately get all sorts of ideas. Pop culture means all sorts of different things to different people. But what do I think it means? Well, one of my favorite quotes comes from pre-federal-prison, 1980s junk bond wizard Michael Milken: “Everything that we like is junk. Junk food, junk clothes, junk records. Everything that seems to stand the test of time is junk.” I think this is a perfect description of pop culture.
I aim to build this website a high temple of low culture that pays tribute to all of the cultural ephemera that thrills and excites me….and hopefully you, too. I believe this “junk” — the tapestry of films, movies, music, TV shows, food, and games that together define a culture and further society — holds the secret to all of life’s questions. Because, let’s face it: if Hollywood doesn’t have the answers, we’re all screwed.
As for what the future holds for the site, I have tons of ideas but want to avoid promising anything. Writing long-form will always be my priority and, while this site is an extension of that work, it’s not what pays the bills. I want to be a bit of a .com tease, though, and give you a little glimpse at just some of the columns and projects I have lined up for it:
Better Living Through Hollywood: There’s an oft-repeated belief that there are only seven basic plots in all of storytelling. Every story has been told countless times and will be re-told countless more times. Why work at figuring anything out for yourself if Hollywood’s writers have already done the heavy-lifting for you? In this column, I show you how to apply principles from the works of Hollywood to the real-world.
I Made You a Mixtape: Even though the first album I ever bought was Tiffany by Tiffany, I’ve grown to have great musical tastes. In fact, my music collection is probably better than yours. And that’s okay because I’m here to guide you. I’ll pick a theme, compile a mix of ten tracks (and one bonus tune), and then take your hand while we journey together into a land of sonic bliss.
Save the TV Theme Song!: The TV theme song has been around since the advent of television. Unfortunately, it’s becoming a dying art form. I’m on a one-man crusade to bring back the theme song and restore it to its proper place as an essential part of the television viewing experience. In each episode, we’ll take a look back together at the timeless songs that we all know from the television shows we all love.
Murder, She Wrote, I Watched: I will explore the amateur detective exploits of mystery author Jessica Fletcher on a sequential basis, covering a different episode in every post and weaving in cultural criticism and whatnot. By the time I’m done, I will have something like a billion words written on the J.B. Fletcher and the happenings of Cabot Cove, Maine. If you’re a fan of everybody’s favorite senior citizen sleuth (and isn’t everybody?), you’ll love this unhealthily comprehensive and unnecessary undertaking.
A Kenny for Your Thoughts: When I was a kid, I was a member of the Kenny Rogers fan club. Never has there been a better compilation album than his 1980s’ Greatest Hits. “The Gambler.” “Lady.” “Lucille.” “Don’t Fall in Love with a Dreamer.” This album had it all. And no truer words have been spoken than those sung in the lyrics of this country/pop rock silver fox. Whenever A Kenny for Your Thoughts appears on the blog, think of it as your daily mantra. Meditate and take time to reflect on the meaning or lesson or emotion Kenny was trying to convey. Then, go out and live your best life.
I Scream Sundae: When I was a kid, I spent weekends in front of the television, devouring the psychotronic films shown on Commander USA’s Groovie Movies. Now, a psychotronic movie belongs to a genre all its own. They are the cult films that were particularly popular at midnight movie festivals or drive-in theaters. They usually lean towards cheesy, low-budget horror, but can also feature sci-fi series, biker films, quickie biopics, teen sex comedies, low budget action, blaxploitation films, slashers, goofy comedy, and kung fu films. When this Sunday series kicks off, I’ll pair a psychotronic movie with an ice cream sundae so you’ll be able to snack your way together through all of the awfulness.
The Life and Times of a Balding Neurotic Gentleman: A personal blog in which I’ll write about my life. You’ll get an insider’s look at the softer, more cuddly side of me.
101 Things to Do Before You Die: Several years ago I bought a copy of Richard Horne’s book, 101 Things to Do Before You Die. Since then, I’ve made it one of my life’s missions to complete as many of the tasks in the book as possible before buying the farm. I’ve had a lot of amazing experiences so far, but there are a lot of tasks left to conquer. How far will I make it? Come along on the journey with me to find out!
In Defense of…: An impassioned and well-reasoned argument for society to re-examine something that has been critically maligned, because it’s probably much better than you’ve been told, or you remember.
Smorgasbord: This is a column about, well, anything. Full of trivial thoughts and observations, it’s a safe space for my random ramblings, and you’ll never know what to expect. Proceed with caution.
This is just a portion of what I’ve got planned. Yes, it’s pretty ambitious. Even more ambitious was my decision to launch this site with this post and a slew of others, to prove to the naysayers that I’m serious about writing for this newfangled Internets thing I’ve heard so much about.
Since this is this my first attempt at blogging, and it should be worth noting that the site isn’t perfect yet. Consider it Version 1.0. The page will continuously evolve (especially in the beginning) as I play around with different ideas and see what works and what doesn’t. There are still some technical tweaks that still need to be made and, although we’ve run it through testing for several months, when you’ve lived with something for so long, familiarity fatigue sometimes makes even the most glaring mistakes invisible. Having real-world traffic to the site will give me a better chance to fix anything that may have fallen through the cracks. I don’t think it will take me long to find my footing, though, and things and, before you know it, Version 1.1 will be along soon.
The site may look simplistic and minimal, but it’s all Ferrari under the hood, baby! The underlying technology built into the site will allow me to grow for the next several years and I have Rusty Hein to thank for that. Rusty is not only the Goose to my Maverick, but the guy responsible for the structure, coding, look and feel of the site. If not for his savvy ability to translate my computer-illiterate, only semi-coherent ramblings into clickable web goodness, this site wouldn’t exist. In fact, because of repeated hacking attempts by the Russians (I’m not kidding…) we spent a few early-morning hours before today’s launch hardening up the website’s security. Now, not even that kid from WarGames could hack this shit.
I also want to thank some good friends who doubled as sounding boards through the process and were always willing to offer their insight: Travis Read, Justin MacDonald, Stephenie Lane, Desirée DeLoach, and Jeff Coral. I’d also be remiss if I didn’t thank my family for allowing me to be wholly absent at times so I can pursue this unique type of writing. I know that hours of sitting on the couch watching black-and-white, badly dubbed Mexican horror films may not seem like work, but I promise it is. Well, most of the time…
Finally, I’d like to thank all of you, the readers, for choosing to come along on the ride. Where we’re going, we don’t need roads.
So, with that, ladies and gentleman, the Jeremy Homan website is now officially live to the public! It’s time to grab a slice of celebratory cake, and go forth to explore. When I think you’ve had enough time to digest what’s there, I’ll be back to post even more..